Death seems more life like, than what you behold,
yonder there, dunes of sand or seas of gold?
rafts of paper or vessels of dreams untold?
either way drown, when the turns unfold.
In lakes of realism or loves blood sold,
hiding the sodden secrets, forever when cold,
beats a hopeless heart, like a flutter in the dark,
praise the broken winged, bird imprisoned yet bold.
How to live in the name of living, you kill your own soul,
bathing in a river of tears, faces young, hearts old,
better is death, than this life untold,
without love, without loss, our minds we mold,
Nay, with pride I soothe a bleeding heart,
while you fear breaking the glass you hold.
-
Follow
Following
Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
Poems & People 
really enjoyed your rhyme scheme here
As I mentioned below, this was one of my first poems, so it was kind of puerile.
One of my very first poems. You can notice the brevity and simplicity of it.
I think this is quite lovely, actually, not puerile. I like the simplicity of it.
That’s because you’re very kind, thank you.
well! I’M not kind – and I think its an incredible poem! a first poem, huh? wow!
Thank you so much my good friend, as always, your praise gives me confidence in myself.
we all need it!
Awesome first poem. Or one of the first poems.
Thank you so much, it was one of the first.
beauty with breathtaking immediacy. more from you, please. tony
Why thank you Tony, that is such a compliment. I’ll keep updating my blog, and all I can ask of you in the meanwhile is, stay tuned.
I so love the last two lines; the way they are so terse and yet say so very much.
Thank you so much, I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Sir, I have told you before that I am amazed at your humility! This is awesome IN its simplicity! I agree with so many here, do not sell yourself short, it is NOT puerile! I love this, it is definitely “food for the soul.”
God bless you my friend, I soooo look forward to more! (I am trying to read those I have missed. lol 🙂 )
Thank you, you’re praise is overwhelming sir, much appreciated.
What a wonderful first! Simple is what connects the most I think 🙂
Thank you, and I agree.
“Nay, with pride I soothe a bleeding heart,
while you fear breaking the glass you hold” good summing up 🙂
Why, thank you.
Thanks for choosing to follow one of my blogs. I hope you continue to enjoy the posts. 🙂
You’re welcome, and I too hope so.
Simplicity at it’s best.sometimes I believe the complexity can take away the innocence of a poem and sometimes it’s very essence. This one left me speechless. Bravo.
Thank you so much, but I feel you’re being too clement with me, nonetheless, I’m glad you enjoyed it.
I have nothing to gain in giving you a weak comment on your poem. A merciful review is worth nothing. Your poem captured an innocence, a vulnerablitiy, or a fragility in it’s simplicity that is what the essence of the poem was to me. So in my opinion, which I offer is not worth much, if you had made this poem anymore complexi it ould have taken away from the fragility of it all. I, personaly, loved it. I think, you do not give yourself enough credit and may be too harsh on your own work. I, personally don’t believe how long we have been working on our art for how great a piece we may produce. One of our best pieces may come from our earliest work and our worst from our latest work and anything in between. Anyhow, I loved this poem of yours.
Thank you Alison, your kind words have made my day, if only everyone was as sweet as you.
Every word of your Poem is so so Beautiful and the meaning of each word just touches the Heart.WOW! Iam totally touched. 🙂
Thank you very much, I am flattered to find you feeling this way.